I recently read a god awful review written by Corban Goble over at Adequacy.net about an album I have also reviewed. I’m not concerned that Goble and I disagree. However, I am enlightened by apparently how little effort I actually have to put into writing a review. So I decided to re-write my review of Melon’s Never Eat on an Empty Stomach in the spirit of Goble since it seems much more fun and way easier. By the way, If you’ve never heard the band Melon, please listen to the audio clip above before reading.

Alright, here we go:

I’m going to be completely forthright; I’ve never heard of “stoner rock” as a genre qualification.

What do you get when you mix cliché prog rock, screamo, and The Foo Fighters? Well, obviously you get the band Melon who is aptly described as Stoner Rock. Now I’ve never actually heard of this thing called Stoner Rock, but I’ve heard of LOTS of other kinds of rock. So I’m pretty sure I’m qualified to judge Melon’s most recent album. Since their singer screamed a few times and the band’s genre is clearly in an awkward region between jam music and metal… I’m pretty sure he’s heavily influenced by screamo bands like Thursday, which is confusing because I thought Melon is a self-procralimed Stoner Rock band. They should really do their homework.

The vocals soar a little more when they don’t completely dive into the scream-o end [of] the spectrum.

As I’ve already stated, I have absolutely no idea what Stoner Rock is, but I’d like to believe it’s just like everything I hated most about Melon. Those parts include exaggerated guitars (you know, guitars that sound too much like guitars) and cliché progressive rock. Remember? I’ve heard a lot about this thing called rock-and-roll and even though this is clearly a different genre, it’s just like this other genre I’ve heard about.

Though I’m not sure what stoner rock is, exactly, I’d like to imagine the label is representative of the parts of “Never Eat on an Empty Stomach” that I don’t like…

Now, I really hate writing bad reviews (ignore the fact that 6 of my 7 reviews are negative), so I want to end on a good note. I LOVE how these guys chose to sell their album. Unfortunately, the album sucks, so it doesn’t matter.

Now, if you’d like to read a real review, click here. What I just wrote may sound overly sarcastic and harsh, but I honestly did very little exaggeration of what Goble wrote. It really makes me sad that this guy probably has more readers than me… Something is rotten in the state of music reviews.

Yeah, I know - pretty insane, right?

Well this article from BBC discusses some previously undiscovered works from when he was about eight years old. According to Harvard professor Robert Levin, “What the composer expects of the player in racing passagework, crossed hands and wild leaps is more than a bit crazy. I consider it quite credible that the movement was composed by the young Mozart who wished to show in it everything he could do.”

Even Mozart’s latest refined symphonies are quite dense, so I can barely imagine what the child was capable of when anxious to prove himself.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE… their blog gives details about their upcoming album, due out October. It will have 6 tracks and is titled The Great Misdirect. Their last album, Colors, was amazing and a big step forward for the band, so expectations are high for this release!

This is an older song, but I really love it. If you’re a fan of Roxanne by The Police and you have an appreciation for reggae music, you’ll love this track. 

I had parts of this album, but if you really like this song then you should checkout the full cut entitled Whose World Is This (2008) by K-Salaam and Beatnick.

Africa is the backbone of the world and the foundation of everything and Africans are in a situation where they need help more than anywhere else,” Marley stated via the press release. “We know there are dire situations here in America but when you look at America—with public libraries and free education—these are not opportunities most Africans have. It’s a completely different scale of trying to help people. As human beings, we’re part of a human family.

You will be sure that Obnoxious Listeners will be doing a review of this album once it drops (or perhaps slightly earlier if we can get a pre-release copy, legally of course!).

So glad to see two artists of such high caliber working together. I like it more when two artists who are already respected individually join together to form a team instead of vice versa. It feels like a union of two equal energies versus one man being stronger than the other.

I never thought to myself, “hey, what might Kanye West’s music sound like if it was the soundtrack to Mario Brothers or Contra”. But after hearing Brooklyn producer Tugboat recreate famous hip hop songs in 8-bit style, I wish all my games came with a soundtrack like this.

If you want to download the full album, go checkout the original post at Metal Lungies. I think what Tugboat did by creating this quick album is incredibly smart. He now is known for creating something ingenious and totally unique. With just a little recognition like this, he has a platform in which to market himself.

This track is entitled Chillen. It’s got the Remember The Titans theme running apart of the beat. I’m sure that’s from another original 70’s track, but I forget the name.

What I really like is Wale’s flow. He seems to really spit well over this dance / club style beat. I haven’t heard him really emcee over production like this before. It’s hott!

Thx Ravij. You always be sending over the hard conscious hip hop dance tracks. I love em’.

The new MF Doom album will drop this year. It’s entitled Born Like This (eta 2009) and it’s being released under the name Doom. Not King Geedorah, Viktor Vaughn, Zen Love X, Metal Fingers, or MF Doom - just Doom.

Isn’t it amazing that one artist can take on so many different names and personas? He’s not Prince or Puff Daddy who just change their name to keep it fresh. He does it because he actually changes characters. 

The track above has Doom spitting on top of a violin. Almost sounds like a jazz track with conscious lyrics spit over it. Ahh the merger of Jazz and Hip Hop. I love it!! Thx Analog Giant for the clip.

Riverside is working on the new album - “Anno Domini High Definition”.  The band has already begun recording, this time in Studio X in Olsztyn. We keep you up-to-date with the process of creation on a special “record” website New album

Mariusz Duda: “We have gone from Warsaw, we have changed the studio and the producer. We care deeply about creating a coherent record and that is why most probably there are only going to be 5 songs on it. The material will be energetic, multifarious, and - I hope so - very good for live performances. It will be a story about liquid modernity, life in a constant hurry, stress and anxiety about the future. A picture of our times in 1920 x 1080 definition.”

The expected release date is June 2009.

More details soon…